I sit here looking at my draft posts – post filled with pain, with longing, with sadness, with love, with thoughts immensely private. Pieces of writing that I’ll never publish. Some are old, some are new. I read them and I’m rocked back. They scare me with their intensity. Where did they come from?
I started writing this blog a little over a year ago now. The whole blogging… oh whom am I kidding… the whole writing thing made me VERY nervous. I’ve never felt that I’m a good writer. God knows my essays in school sucked! So writing in such a public fashion was very daunting. It has been an interesting journey.
With no formal writing experience and with no idea on what to actually write, I just started to write. For better or worse. There has been plenty of times when I cringed over what I wrote. Other times I have not been able to stop writing. Then there has been times when the dry-spells have been very real and no matter what I tried, nothing would come forth.
Looking back, there are some posts that I find horrid and then some that I am proud off. Then there are those pieces… This whole blogging business seems to have awoken something in me that I never knew existed. Strings of words that speak of my innermost feelings. Feelings that I cannot vocalize but that only come out in writing. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post them.
I just write whatever pops up in my head. I do edit some but mainly, what I write is what I think about in that moment. Which explains the amount of depressing posts about my messy life lately. Sorry about that… bear with me, I promise I will get back to somewhat funny or thought-worthy posts again as soon as I can.
I am still amazed that people read my shit AND that some even like it enough to continue reading or even comment on it. I have met some amazing people via this blog in the last year and THAT is almost the best thing about it. My life would be a poorer life without you.
So here’s to another year of writing (and feverent praying that my muse will stop watching soppy movies and actually come up with some good ideas to dazzle us all with…).
Most of all, here’s to all of you who read my thoughts. Thank you.