Inconvenient

Posted: July 25, 2010 in Life changes, Rant
Tags: , , ,

Have you ever wished yourself far, far away? Away from your everyday job, your normal life? Wondered what would happen if you actually went somewhere totally different on your own? What would it mean? How would it change you? Would you find yourself being someone else? Would it make a difference? Who would you become?

These questions and some more have gone through my head at speed for some time. I do not know why or what it means. Maybe I am having a life crisis…very inconvenient to say the least. There doesn’t seem to be a specific reason for me having these thoughts. They just seem to drift in at times and mess up my normal day. These thoughts are not of the depressing “oh God, take me away from here, as I am so miserable” – type, as my life isn’t miserable at all. It is more of a subtle, teasing and gentle probing thought of re-discovering who I am without having my everyday life getting in the way. It’s frustrating.

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I have gotten that questions since I was young and I was never and still am not able to answer it. I do not know. I do not have the faintest idea. How will I find out, will I ever find out?

After university so many go traveling around the world before they settle and start a serious job and life and this is said to be a great way to become more mature and to have fun before you settle down. I sometimes think that this is maybe something we should do when we are a bit older. When we have had both our student time and spent time working and had a taste of adult responsibilities. This is perhaps when we should take a step back and re-examine our lives.

These probing questions however seem to not only be about what I want to do professionally but also about whom I am as a person. They seem to question my very identity. This scares me a bit as I am unsure how to handle it. The even scarier part is that these questions come from somewhere inside of me and I feel stumped as I find no answers.

OK maybe a minor crisis… blast. So here I am sitting in front of my laptop sending out questions into hyper space or blog space or whatever you want to call it and am sighing aloud that it is very, very inconvenient.

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