Cabin contemplations

Posted: December 4, 2010 in Friends, Life, Life changes, Reflections
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Humans often act like pack animals. We thrive in company. Follow or lead others depending on our character. We seek affirmation in groups and feel safer in numbers. A mob can be vicious and commit terrible atrocities. A group can pull together and create wonders. The field of sociology has long studied the dynamics of groups and how we interact both within a group and en masse.

But as we first and foremost are humans and not mindless beasts (though this can be debated sometimes) we also have a choice if and when we want to be part of a group. We choose to be part of others, sometimes deciding to be alone and embrace solitude. Yes, there are situations when we are born or integrated into a group as children but as we grow up we, ourselves, decide what people to be with. It can be hard and a struggle to disengage from a group you belong to, just as it can be equally hard trying to fit into a new group.

As kids and teenagers we naturally meet new people and form groups through school and clubs. We try out new ways and discard others. Our minds are open to new ideas and new people. Then as we pass university and enter the world of everyday life and (hopefully) employment, a shift seems to happen. Our groups seem more rigid, set in their ways and harder to change. New people are not welcomed as easily and the boundaries of the group are guarded almost jealously. It is harder to make new close friends as an adult.

Moving country, city or even just moving from one company to another can be taxing. Yes, you will meet people and make acquaintances and even casual buddy’s but close friends? Have we become too guarded to let others in even as we try to reach out ourselves? What is the great fear? Have we become too comfortable in our existing sphere to let others in that could shake up our world?

Now what has brought this on, you might wonder. Well, I was reflecting today, as I went for a walk in the beautiful winter weather, that I have spent many times in my life trying to find new friends and new groups to belong to. When I was younger we moved a few times and then as an adult I have moved a good few times as well for various reasons. Each time it has been harder to find those friends and at times almost disheartening. I have a few good close friends that are very dear to me but for different reasons we all live quite apart and sometimes it just gets to me.

And now I will stop thinking too much…as I believe I might also suffer from cabin fever at this stage. Sigh.


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