Too tired for sex?

Posted: January 7, 2011 in Life, Love
Tags: , , , , , ,

Ok I normally never really discuss my sex life in any shape or form publicly. Some would call it weird as I have no problems being part of others sex discussions or about the topic in generally… but when it comes to me…well then I normally do not say much. Not sure why, just the way it is I guess. I have never had the urge to share and no, I am not about to launch into any revealing details now either (so you can breathe out now Anders, if you happen to read this post).

So what brought this topic up. Well, as you probably have gathered I have not been well in the last while. I have never ever been feeling so exhausted for this long before. I should count myself very, very lucky for this and I do. However lately all I want is to crawl up in my bed and sleep. That is how it has been for some time now. This obviously means that my sex life also is non-existent. My libido has gone to sleep.

The funny thing is that a part of me still craves sex but it is very subdued and there is just no energy to do anything about it. After being in a stable relationship for almost 11 years (oh my god…has it been that long already!!?) we decided that maybe it would be fun to spice up our sex life a bit. Why not have a look at some fun toys etc? Unfortunately this was just around the same time that I started to feel a bit under the weather, thinking it was probably just due to too much work.  Now I am the stage where it doesn’t matter what I look at where before I might have been interested now I am just… meh.

I know that once I feel more like myself again things will (hopefully) be better. Tiredness seems to be the biggest inhibitor for me. Now it is because I am not well but other times it is because I am exhausted when coming home from work. It is boring as hell but true.

Some say that sex is not what should matter in a relationship etc or in general but I tend to disagree to a point. Sex is important, good sex even more. It should not be the overriding factor in a relationship but I know I could not be in a relationship without it.

Lately I find myself in more and more often in a situation where I am the one that is too knackered for any fun in the sack. Tiredness sucks. So I am throwing out the questions to you all, whom I hope all have a very active and great sex life, what the hell is a girl to do??

  1. Bob says:

    You know it is winter, perhaps you have a mild case of seasonal affective disorder. I know here in Canada we call it the winter blues or cabin fever. Basically it involves the amount of sunlight your body is getting and turning into vitamin D.

    Basically you feel run down and tired most of the time, needing more sleep. Libido is often one of the first indicators. Really who wants to get naked and fool around when your feeling grumpy and tired.

    Good luck getting your freak back, maybe Nikki could chime in on this she seems to be the resident sex addict in our little group.

  2. nikki04 says:

    Hey lady!

    Wow this is a bummer! 🙂

    OK – I have to agree with Bob: especially us ladies, our sex is really tied to our brains, so I’d look at diet, activities (etc) first. Vit D – check that for sure, although some docs are on the Crazy D Train and think you need more than you do. I think the level really is less than 20, you’re in trouble and should take supplements. Otherwise – are you getting enough protein? I was vegan for awhile, and I was just EXHAUSTED all the time when I was too lazy to put effort into what I cooked (then I went local instead and all is well). Are you getting enough sleep? I am pretty sure you’re wicked active, so don’t think it’s a lack of exercise… BUT keep in mind you were just horrendously sick – your body may just need to recover. Get back into a regular diet with plenty of rest for awhile…

    If those things don’t work… I really think that we ladies have this switch with sex. When it’s off? It can be pretty off. But when it’s on? It’s pretty damn on. Maybe you need to reset your switch. Are you visual or do you like to read? Try some porn or erotica, maybe, or think about little things your partner can do to get you starter towards back-in-the-mood. Leave the sex toys until you’re revved up again…

    Hope that helps! XOXO

    • Ivy Blaise says:

      Recovering enough to hit the gym again and resetting switch sounds like the way forward.

      Thanks Nikki! ❤

    • Bob says:

      Hmmm am I Mr. Fix it around here lately??? Everyone keeps agreeing with me.
      Wow, honestly someone tell me to F Off and throw a towel at me or something. This is gettin’ weird. 🙂

      • Ivy Blaise says:

        LOL! OK…towel has been thrown. But doesn’t that mean that I just did what you asked….defeating the purpose…. damn…. I’ll just throw a snowball at ya…you do not have enough snow over there anyway..right? 🙂

  3. There is an ebb and a flow to everything in relationships, and the tide will eventually turn for you. Fatigue is the kryptonite of my sex life. Man, did we have a dry spell after my kids – neither of whom were good sleepers – were born!

    You’ll come out of it eventually….and maybe the dry spell will have been all you needed to spice it up! Good luck!

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