To belong

Posted: September 13, 2011 in Life
Tags: , , , , , , ,
You can find happiness in the smallest things.

Image by papadont via Flickr

To belong. Is that not what many of us search for and need? To feel part of something. To be part of that group, that place, that cause. I believe most of us do have a need to belong somewhere. Granted, some need it less and some more.

By belonging we find a certain security. A purpose. A sense of togetherness.

Of course we are capable of being on our own. We can choose to stay apart. As individuals we decide and as individuals we also need to be happy on our own. It is vital that we are. It is important that we achieve happiness with only ourselves as company. Once we have that, then we can choose to be part of something else and give without compromising who we are.

It is so easy to just search for something to be part of – if it be a group, a cause or a partner. It is easy to fool ourselves that that is what will make us happy. That will take away that feeling of being lost and adrift. The question is… does it though? I believe it may numb it. Cover it up. A make-belief. Until that lost feeling resurfaces again and then the next search starts. A never-ending story.

Knowing and accepting oneself is difficult. I know that I sometimes struggle with it and I dare say most do. I also know that if I am happy then finding that sense of belonging is more rewarding. I belong because of who I am, not because I change into someone who I think will fit the bill.

There are days when I feel lost. Days when I feel awkward and think I do not belong. Days when I doubt if people around me really like me for who I am. Those are the days when I let that stupid little insecure voice that resides inside win. Those are the days I have to give myself a good kick. Because really… I know that I have people around me that care and like me, for whom I am. People that I, in turn, care about and like for who they are.

We all try to belong, in one way or the other. Sometimes we just look too hard and do not realize that we already do. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and not listen to those little insecure voices that try to mess with our heads – just tell ’em to get lost.

It’s all in your head…

  1. Movedup says:

    I would completely agree Ivy. I belong to a group of women that reflect back to one another the goodness we all share. I love being in a circle of women that celebrate each others achievements. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life that reflect back to me what I believe about myself – I can do this… I can at least try… If I fail… I can try again with the support of fellow believers. I belong…. to me…. and I share myself with others who believe the same

    • Ivy Blaise says:

      and that is the way it should be… to belong to yourself and then share with the people you in turn believe in. This is where we gain strength and support – with a strong foundation in ourselves and the company of friends.

  2. powmia71 says:

    Your words sure hit home in so many ways. I agree wholeheartedly and think that this is the reason some kids even join gangs and the “wrong” crowd. So that they can belong to someone or something. I know even in my own life, I constantly try to please everyone and want people just to like me. I wish I could tell that nagging voice of unworthiness to just get lost!

    Thanks for your words!

    • Ivy Blaise says:

      That nagging voice is persistent. I am slowly coming to realize that pleasing everyone else around me leaves out the most important part…. doing what is right for me. If I do what I right for me and what I believe in then the people who do like me are the ones I actually care about and the ones who do not like me…. well it is their loss. In the end of the day, we can never please everyone. Though it is not easy. I’m still learning but I am getting there.

  3. Oh, how well I know what you mean! I remember when my son was born, and I went from actually having a social life to suddenly being a stay-at-home mom, it was the most lost and disconnected I ever felt! Especially because that was a time I really craved connection – with other women, other mothers, even just other adults whose only means of communication was not limited to crying! It took a while, but I finally found a circle of friends, most of whom were also stay-at-home moms like me. It felt good to finally feel I’d found my “tribe.” Give it time, and you will get there, too. And staying true to yourself will better help you in finding those true connections. Hugs.

  4. True. We all need to belong, though it’s only fair that we don’t lose our true essence in trying to be a part of the bigger circle. There’s no point in trying to fit the bill. In all, staying true to your beliefs will get you to your circle…take care Iv and good luck.

  5. Good things come in small packages, except that little voice.

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