Internal battle

Posted: February 1, 2012 in Life, Rant
Tags: , , , ,

I was perfectly fine this morning. Then one little thing in work was delayed (which let’s face it, really was not a big deal) and it felt like a nuclear explosion went off in my head. I wanted to rant and rage about it and just about caught myself and then I could hear my inner voice going “uh-oh!” …

Do you ever get that feeling when you mentally have to check yourself – as in rein yourself in? When your mind and your emotions are playing havoc? When you feel like you are having an internal battle between cool reason and utter insane instability?

Well, if you are a woman who suffers from PMS then you probably know what I am talking about.

Ugh, so yeah… today has been pretty awful. I kept reminding myself that this is just one of those days and I constantly had to make sure I did not actually act the way my at the moment overhyped and slightly off-balance mind reacted. Thank god I do not get like this every month.

Trying to explain it to someone who does not suffer from PMS (or a guy) is actually quite hard. It really is a constant internal struggle. Imagine all your worst characteristics and throw in some of the bad ones you (hopefully) discarded after your teenage years – take all of them and mush them together and then imagine these trying to literally take over and just act out.  Then to add to the misery – imagine that these emotions constantly swap places so that you do not know if you will be weepy, in a fury, paranoid or depressed from one minute to the next. Obviously all of this is happening inside of you and you still have to act like a normal human being, go to work, have a normal conversation with your colleagues and not alienate all your friends.

Came across these. Maybe that is the way forward. Sounds better anyway…

  • Weepy = emotional
  • Angry = determined
  • Paranoid = sensitive
  • Tactless  = refreshingly honest
  • Depressed = introspective

Am now at home, glad to be on my own. Pizza has been devoured. An early night wrapped up in my bed with a book will also help. And chocolate… lots of chocolate….


  1. That’s so funny you posted about this….I have been in the process of writing what essentially amounts to a “Dear John” letter to my own period. Seeing as I’m over 40 now, and already have two kids, it serves no purpose in my life….other than – apparently – to make me miserable. Really, it just needs to go at this point. We’ve had a good run, but, really, I will not be sorry to say goodbye. (We’ll see if it ever gets around to being posting quality!)

    Anyway, all this to say, from one woman to another: have some more chocolate, along with whatever else your PMS-addled heart desires. I totally get it.

  2. Ivy Blaise says:

    You should write that letter. Things like that need to be said.

    My chocolate is on stand-by (what little is left……)

  3. Nikki B says:

    I had a friend once who suffered insane mood swings with her period. She started on a low-does birth control pill and she said she literally feels it saved her life. She says she’s a different person.

    Me? No PMS, but I pass out from it. So, also awesome.

    Ah hormones. Ain’t they fun.

    Hope you’re hanging in!

  4. FeistyWoman says:

    I hear that Nush. Everyday stress can easily build up and snowball. We try our best and it still feels like a constant uphill battle. I hope you can get some relief.

    It’s pretty tough what we go through as women. Too bad they had to name it something like PMS. Sounds like a deadly disease and at the same time you swear it was.


    • Ivy says:

      Chocolate is sometimes the only cure for this disease/condition … oh and staying away from people.

      But yes, I am back to normal. 🙂

  5. I’m very thankful I don’t get PMS, just side-splitting cramps that require mega doses of painkillers. But, from what I understand, PMS can just show up one day. I fear this day.

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