Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

What is love?

It is a question that has been asked and answered throughout time. Each answer seems to trigger a new question. The search is never-ending.

Poems have been written, songs composed, films created – all to describe, answer and seek love.

Some find it, some loose it, some are still seeking. The variety of love is endless. Love for a friend, love for a partner, love for family… etc . Some varieties we can understand or at least relate to. Some we can never grasp unless we experience it ourselves.

Love is a very personal thing. It can mean different things to different people. For some it is all-encompassing, a passionate roller-coaster breaking all boundaries and moving mountains. For some it is the steady beat that never ends. For some it is tragically lost and then found again – in all its bitter sweetness. And so forth in all it’s variety.

Love can also change. Change shape, change beat. It can gently enfold us. It can knock our breath away. It can cause unbearable pain. It can make it all worthwhile. It can be shouted across the roof-tops. It can be a silent whisper.

What is love?

 

A kiss

Posted: August 20, 2011 in Love
Tags: , , , , , ,

Light as a feather. But a breath away. A hint of things to come.

Heart pounding wildly. The sound echoing between the walls. Trembling.

The first tentative touch. Oh, that first gentle touch. So soft.

Breath catching. Darkened eyes, fire on fire. Whispered words heard.

Desire at war. Exquisite intimacy. At last.

To my friends,

I was sitting 30 000 feet up in the air thinking about the people in my life. I realised that I am not very good at expressing myself when it comes to saying how much you guys rock, so I decided it was well overdue.

So this is to all of you that I count as my friends. Some near and some far away. Some of you I see almost everyday, some often and some hardly ever or I haven’t actually met you face to face.

You have all been there for me in the last whirlwind of my life. You have listened, advised, metaphorically held my hand, let me write, let me vent, let me wallow, told me that things will get better, given me hugs, poured me wine, offered me a bed, made me laugh, shared bad jokes to make me giggle. Taken my mind off things. You guys know who you are.

I cannot guarantee an end of my wallowing quite yet but feel that things would have been much more difficult without you all. I feel blessed to know such a great bunch of people. You are the best and I love you all to bits.

Thank you ❤

Ok I normally never really discuss my sex life in any shape or form publicly. Some would call it weird as I have no problems being part of others sex discussions or about the topic in generally… but when it comes to me…well then I normally do not say much. Not sure why, just the way it is I guess. I have never had the urge to share and no, I am not about to launch into any revealing details now either (so you can breathe out now Anders, if you happen to read this post).

So what brought this topic up. Well, as you probably have gathered I have not been well in the last while. I have never ever been feeling so exhausted for this long before. I should count myself very, very lucky for this and I do. However lately all I want is to crawl up in my bed and sleep. That is how it has been for some time now. This obviously means that my sex life also is non-existent. My libido has gone to sleep.

The funny thing is that a part of me still craves sex but it is very subdued and there is just no energy to do anything about it. After being in a stable relationship for almost 11 years (oh my god…has it been that long already!!?) we decided that maybe it would be fun to spice up our sex life a bit. Why not have a look at some fun toys etc? Unfortunately this was just around the same time that I started to feel a bit under the weather, thinking it was probably just due to too much work.  Now I am the stage where it doesn’t matter what I look at where before I might have been interested now I am just… meh.

I know that once I feel more like myself again things will (hopefully) be better. Tiredness seems to be the biggest inhibitor for me. Now it is because I am not well but other times it is because I am exhausted when coming home from work. It is boring as hell but true.

Some say that sex is not what should matter in a relationship etc or in general but I tend to disagree to a point. Sex is important, good sex even more. It should not be the overriding factor in a relationship but I know I could not be in a relationship without it.

Lately I find myself in more and more often in a situation where I am the one that is too knackered for any fun in the sack. Tiredness sucks. So I am throwing out the questions to you all, whom I hope all have a very active and great sex life, what the hell is a girl to do??

I am not a touchy-feely person really, never have been. When I grew up there was not so much physical contact. Sure we hugged but not often. Affection was more shown through humour and laughs. My dad would show his affection by ruffling my hair more than anything. He still laughs a bit embarrassed every time I give him a hug nowadays. My sister has always been the big hugger in the family and I have always loved that, still do.

Do not get me wrong, I felt loved at home but just always a little bit insecure when it came to showing it openly. I was quite shy when I was younger. Not so much when it came to communicating with my family (I talked non-stop then) but when it came to physical contact I mostly always waited for someone else to take the first step. In some sense I am still like that. I have had to work hard to open up more in this respect. It has taken quite some time and it is still work in progress.

I can sometimes long for that contact but am too shy to take the first step, even though this has improved a lot over the years. This does not mean that I want to hug everyone I see or be all touchy-feely or want others to be so all the time, as that would just really annoy me after a while but sometimes hugs are very, very nice.

For me it is a way to show that I love and/or care about a person, as I have always sucked at actually saying the words out loud. A hug shows affection and does not have to mean anything sexually (unless you progress that hug… mmm… but that is another topic for another day). A hug should mean something. A hug should be given and received freely. The worst thing I know are those meaningless I-will-hug-you-very-quickly-but-barely-touch-you kind of hugs that feel so contrived. That is almost as bad as a sloppy handshake. Shudder!

So to sum up my somewhat odd post ( I have no idea why I started writing about this now) all I want to say is; always make your hugs convey something and always mean them.

This image is a full-disk view of the X-ray Su...

Image via Wikipedia

Half an hour ago the sun was shining… I promise! I did see it! It has now retreated behind the ever increasingly clouds again. Hmmm… this could be used as a really deep, profound metaphor but I am actually talking about the real, actual red-hot ball of fire that hovers above our heads in outer space. You know, the one that has been extremely shy to show its face the last month. Why didn’t I move to Australia or something when I decided to move from the land of the Vikings? Instead I ended up just a short up away in Dublinia…just as some of the aforementioned Vikings.

As much in my life, it just kind of happened. It was never planned that I was going to move to Ireland at all. It seems most of my life develops without me having much of a say in it. This is a bit odd considering that I am known to be a bit of a planner. I like to know what I am doing on a day-to-day basis and am pretty organized. I normally dislike interruption to my made-up daily schedule…sad but true. I have come to terms with that this is how I am, as boring as it may sound. The strange thing though is that all major events in my life have been spur of the moment things. No planning and quite life changing in many respects.

Even the subject I was studying in university (Sociology) was a flip the coin decision. I did love it though. Moving country was another quick decision. Within a very short period of time I decided to get rid of my (very nice) apartment and moved to Cardiff, Wales to study another year… and what a mad year that was! I then after a year and a half decided to accept a job in Dublin, Ireland from one day to the next. And here I still am now, part from a year back to the UK when I thought the grass would be greener on the other side..it wasn’t.

I do like it here still. People are nice and you are free to be whomever you want to be. I have met some amazing friends and a partner to share my life with. Can you imagine that is has been over 10 years already? So yes, I am happy here. I just wish the sun would take up a more permanent residence here as well.

Maybe I should convince all to Australia…come on people, are you up for it?!

Invincible

Posted: August 3, 2010 in Love
Tags: , , , , ,

What is love to you? If you would walk out on the street and ask people what love is for them, you will probably end up with many different answers. Love can be interpreted in many ways.

It can be the deep and protective love a parent has for a child.
It can be the affectionate love for a beloved pet.
It can be the profound love for a family.
It can be the genuine love for close friends.
It can be the all-consuming hormonal passion of the first teenage crush.
It can be the earnest love of a steadfast partner.
It can be the bottomless, beautiful and heart clenching love between soul-mates.
… all of this and much more.

There are so many ways love can be manifested and felt. I do not believe there are any rights or wrongs when it comes to love. It shouldn’t matter whom you love. It shouldn’t matter if you love someone from the opposite or same sex. Or if you love someone from a different ethnic race. It shouldn’t matter if there is a age difference or physical limitations. I once read a passage in a book that caught my eye and it went something like this: There’s a lot of hurt in the world, there’s a lot of pain. Love is not wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t come in the form you’d expected, but love is never wrong.”

Can love last forever? Why not? I also believe that love between two persons that lasts a lifetime is increasingly rare. Some would argue that this is due to the dilution of morals in the modern world, how today’s society embraces change and almost encourages separation. This can very well be a contributing factor. I however think that it is very difficult to compare a lifelong relationship today to those in past times. For one – our life expectancy is much longer today. A lifelong commitment in ages past maybe lasted 25-35 years if people where lucky. Now we live longer lives. Another thing to consider is that many did not have a choice in staying in an unhappy relationships for religious, social or cultural reasons. Once you were in that was it. Leaving was not an option.

I do not think that people love any less today than in the past. A partnership is still something that requires an effort from both parties to work. It will always need comprises. If it doesn’t work out it is never simple but we do have the option to search anew. I do believe we can love more than one partner in a lifetime. Almost all of us go into a relationship believing that it will last forever and that is the way it should be, in my opinion. Hopefully all of us can say at the end of out lives, that we had the fortune to love with all our heart.

Do I believe love can last forever? I do believe it is possible. There are people that would say that love is painful and causes much grief. This is true. However love can also be all-encompassing, fierce and beautiful and it is one of the many things that defines us as humans. It inspires beauty and creates works of art.

Am I a romantic – yes.
Am I naive to believe there is someone out there for each and everyone – no, I am just hopeful.
Do I love – yes, my partner, my family and my friends.

What am I trying to say with this post, apart from being all mushy… just love with all your heart and never be afraid to search. You may stumble, despair and falter on the way and you might not be successful the first, second or even the third time but it is out there. With love you are invincible, without it you will fall.

I am not great at describing what love is for me but there are a few lines from a song that in many ways sums in up for me:

“… Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?…

… have you ever wished for an endless night?

Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight.

Have you ever held your breathe and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?”

“Glitter in the Air” by Pink.