Posts Tagged ‘Anger’

There she is. With no defenses left. On display with everything that she is. Hoping it is enough. Praying that it is enough.

The urge to run and hide is overwhelming. To push the world away. The anger and the distance was all she had but it is so tiring. So draining.

The strength to support the barriers has failed her. She is worn down, worn down to the bare essence of her being. A gust of wind could blow her over or lift her to new heights. She stands there trembling.

She lets go and gives herself over. She is vulnerable. She is scared. She is beautiful.

There she is. With no defenses left. On display with everything that she is. Hoping it is enough. Praying that it is enough.

Who is she? She is me. She is you. She is everyone.

The gym to the rescue

Posted: March 20, 2011 in Rant
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Anger. That is what I have felt today. I cannot pinpoint the exact trigger or moment it hit me but when it did it was with a vengeance.

I needed to release some steam, some serious steam. Arguing did not sound like a tempting option as it is too mentally exhausting on top of everything so instead I decided for the much safer (for everyone else) option of going to my local gym. I was fuming when I drove there, the guy tailgating would have died if looks could kill. I was snappy with the poor girl in the gym reception when she told that they could not see my renewal on the computer due to some error. Talk about bad timing. I do feel quite bad about that… I normally never behave that way.

I finally got changed and almost ran up the stairs. Music blasting and I hit the treadmill, the cross-trainer and the weights.  For over an hour my brain shut down. No thoughts, nothing. Just legs and arms moving. Muscles contracting and releasing. Heaven.

Legs shaking when stretching reminded me that I need to go more often. I have a feeling I will spend quite a few evenings in there. Have thought about mornings but am hesitating as I am no morning person at all really but we’ll see. They do have early morning spinning sessions…

How do I feel now? A bit better. Exhausted.

Being nice or not

Posted: October 2, 2010 in Rant
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Angry Talk (Comic Style)

Image via Wikipedia

Being nice is something that we are always told is important. It is being drilled into us since an early age and that is a good thing. The world would be a much happier place if everyone was nice to each other. However in reality the world is slightly different. I have always been a bit naïve and assumed the best in people. That has backfired a good few times. I still persist though, as I also believe that the world would be a much poorer place if we all would assume the worst. This doesn’t mean that I walk around on a little pink cloud thinking everyone is a saint.

So what brought on this post… Well, without going into details, I had a incident this week with person in work that really has riled me up. It started with a small disagreement on a minor issue and ended up with a blown out of proportion situation that is just ridiculous. When the other party started acting like a wronged, spoiled child throwing uncalled accusations around, it really pissed me off. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me but throwing a tantrum and then spending days ignoring me and bad mouthing me is not something I accept. I am playing this by ears now, being all nice for now. There are times like these when I wish it would be socially acceptable to just let it rip.

Sometimes I really do not want to be nice. When there are plenty of things I’d like to do or say. The temptation has been there a few times fueled by anger and my temper but I rein in the motion most of the times. In the end of the day I am not 5 years old and have to act accordingly even if there are others out there who do not. Luckily this particular individual is the only person that is a bit of a challenge do deal with and everyone else is great to work with.