Posts Tagged ‘Musings’

Life Changing

Image by orionlee via Flickr

It is Saturday morning and I am about to have some breakfast. Am sitting here waiting for my partner to finally exit the shower…why is it that men seem to take a lot longer in the bathroom than women? Sigh.

In the meantime I am trying to sort through the million thoughts that are falling through my mind. I always have much going on in my head but not always the time to actually mull on them and mentally sift thoughts through my fingers.

In the last two years much has happened that has triggered a whole new lot of conscious thoughts. Or maybe they always have been there but I’ve never let them surface. Some days I wake up and feel exactly like the same person as I was 10 years ago. Other days I wake up and feel like a totally different person from whom I was just a few years ago. There are times when I embrace changes in my life with open arms and look upon the path ahead with a big smile.When I cannot wait to go out to discover what new exciting experiences these changes entail.

Then there are moments when life seems to come to a standstill as I try to understand and come to terms with a new realization about myself. Certain realizations do scare the hell out of me and the temptation to just push them away is very strong. Maybe one day I will have the courage to dissect them in this blog and even fully embrace them as a part of whom I am but for the time being they will stay on the sideline, being apprehensively evaluated. Maintaining a balance in life can be challenging at times. When you feel that you do not know whether you are coming or going or just want to run away as fast as you can.

As humans we always evolve, in the longer perspective hopefully as a species and on a shorter term as individuals. I am just hoping that I will find a balance so that I can merge the old, comfortable parts that are the essence of me with the newly found/discovered traits that will hopefully complement me. Note that I say complement and not complete me, as I have a funny feeling that we will always evolve and the day when we hopefully feel complete is the day we pass away… only to enter a whole new realm of possibilities, or whatever you chose to believe in.

Well, now it is time for breakfast. Then on to some minor changes on the schedule… time to visit the hairdresser and then doing some research on tattoo artists for that tattoo I have thought about for some time.

Have a good weekend!

Red 2

Image via Wikipedia

What a lovely day it has been today! The sun was shining all day, the air was so fresh and clean and I was warm and comfortable wearing a scarf and light gloves. Am now having a cup of tea as the sun is setting over clear skies and enjoying this Sunday evening.

The large tree outside my living room window has almost shed all its leaves while others are still sporting magnificent colours. As I look out I am taking snap shots with my mind and I almost wish I could freeze time to capture these beautiful moments but then I realize that it is the change itself that makes it beautiful. Without the changes, with all being the same, the beauty becomes dull and lifeless. Much as our lives, without change and reinvention the splendour is gone. If we stall we lose ourselves and that is the most tragic thing in the world. We need to let our leaves fall, knowing that they will re-emerge all the more vibrant again.

So as leaves are falling, I am cherishing these moments as they come and go.