A weekend gone past fast…

It is Sunday afternoon once again and I sit here nursing my cup of tea. This seems to have turned into a ritual of sorts on Sundays – a cup of tea, music in the background and writing posts surrounded by my two cats.

The weekend has flown past once again. It has been a good weekend. Friday was a roller-coaster. A lot going on in my head and a busy day. I was exhausted on Friday evening.

Saturday was, for lack of a better word, a cathartic day. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Posts of all descriptions spewed out. A few I might publish in days to come. I just needed to write. Yes, talking helps but sometimes I just cannot express myself fully. I do not even know what to say half the time. Writing helps me understand what I am feeling. There are moments when I sit down to write a post and I end up writing something totally different to what I intended to. Those pieces are from the very core of my soul. They come unbidden and honest. I also realized that this emotional roller-coaster is not something that will be OK on commando. I’ve tried to push it away and tell myself that all is good and even though it is OK at times, I am not there yet. I only fool myself. I will have to give it time. So I’m taking one step at a time and it is getting better. I do not expect everyone around me having to deal with my shit all the time. So I write.

Saturday evening was spent in the company of friends. With Caipiroska’s, glasses of wine, lively discussions and laughter – an evening cathartic for the soul in a fabulous way. Maybe not so cleansing for my liver though… but worth it.

So now I am back to Sunday. It will be a relaxing one. Maybe there will be room for some writing or maybe I will just read a book. I’ll find out.

Sitting down and having a cup of tea

Image via Wikipedia

I am sitting down having a cup of tea as I type this. I have no specific topic in mind in this particular moment. I just picked up the laptop and started typing away. There is no intention behind it and no red thread thought out. I can not tell you what I will blog about as this is something that will evolve as I type this post. All I know is that I woke up this morning and felt angry and frustrated and I had many topics, well rants really, in mind that I though I would store away until later when I would have some time to sit down and blog.

As it is now, I do not feel angry anymore nor do I want to rant about those things that were upsetting me. Maybe I will pick up those topics on another day and dissect them in a different post. Who knows.

Earlier today I went to the club/dojo to train. Sparring techniques was on the agenda. Initially I felt split about going today; on one hand I thought that it would be an excellent way to vent all that pent-up frustration in a controlled yet physically demanding exercise. Yet on the other hand I almost felt that I was in such a lousy mood that I should stay away from other humans. Either way I did go to the club. We went through a lot of striking techniques and how to apply these both in a traditional sense and in a “real life” situation. It was all from striking pads to pairing up two and two and try them out. It was demanding but good. There was a full on sparring session at the end but I could unfortunately not take part as I have the laser eye surgery next week (which I have mentioned in a previous post) so I wanted to be a bit careful as a black eye really would not be good right now.

I did make the right decision by going to the Bujinkan training today. I realize this as I am sitting here sipping my tea. I feel relaxed where I previously felt tense, I am smiling where I previously was scowling and I am no longer angry or feel the need to spew out frustrated rants all over the place. I rather have a cup of tea and just type away feeling good about myself, about the world around me and the fact that I can blog away to my hearts content even if no-one will read this.

So it seems like this post is about Bujinkan training, the release of tension, blogging and drinking tea. I just might have another cup now.