Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Three different tea bags

Image via Wikipedia

One word, nah make it two, describe how I feel lately. Mentally exhausted. It is like if my brain is doing an Iron Man every day and forgot to tell me about it. I go to bed exhausted, dream weird stuff, wake up just as tired again.

I start doing something, like boiling the kettle, and then I walk off and forget about it. The amount of times I had to pour cold tea into the sink because I forgot to drink it or because I left the tea bag in and it had now reached the strength to rival a nuclear blast… I have lost count.

I really have to kick myself to ensure I focus in work. I manage… with lots of coffee. No news there. Yes, there have been moments when I managed to get by, by the skin of my teeth. I am just lucky I have great colleagues and a good manager.

Yes, my life is a bit of a mess right now. It is not easy to re-adjust to being single after a long relationship. The most exhausting thing is the fall-out of all that needs to be sorted BEFORE you can move on. It is not like I can just skip away and forget everything and not having to deal with responsibilities such as house, banks, a life.

Yes, I know it will be easier, for everyone involved, once time has passed. All I long for right now though is sleep. Blissful sleep and that perfect moment just when you wake up – just before any thoughts or memories invade you mind – that moment when all is well and good in the world.

Night all.

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Homesick

Posted: November 28, 2010 in Family, Life, Reflections
Tags: , , , ,

The sky outside is slowly darkening and the snow-covered ground is taking on a beautiful blue colour. It is quiet outside. No cars passing by. Everyone has gone inside.

Today I am homesick.

I do not get like this very often, especially cos I know that often it is so easy to remember everything at home covered with a rosy shimmer. Only remembering the best parts. Focusing on how good it is when I go home on holidays. Realizing that reality seldom is the same as holidays.

Today I am homesick.

I have just compiled a few DVD’s with pictures from the big party we had for my mum this summer at her 70th birthday. Pictures and movie clips filled with laughter and joy.

I close my eyes. I can hear the laughter, the singing and the chatter. I can still smell the evening air…  the air is filled with the scent of fir trees, sun warmed grass and barbecues. I can see the forest at the edge of the fields, the sun setting over the trees and the smiles on the faces of my family.

I am happy where I am today. I have good friends both near and far. I love my life here. But today… I am homesick.

 


 

 

“It’s not how many times you fall down. It’s how many times you get back up.”

“Fall down seven, Get up eight”  Japanese proverb.

We focus so much on always getting it right and when we stumble we believe we have failed and give up. The key is to continue and try over and over again. No matter how small it is or how far away it is, if you persist and get up and try again… you will reach your goal. This is what I am learning, a small bit at a time.

Maybe it is as simple as this… if we do not stumble and momentarily fail, then how will we know when we have succeeded?