Lament of the white roots…

Waking up to the beating rhythm of a pounding headache, stumbling into the bathroom and staring at myself in the mirror… the shocking whiteness of my roots are flashing back at me in their luminous brightness. I feel every hour of my 37 years.

(Sorry, if you thought that this will be about something profound then I will have to disappoint you. Trust me… in this moment I would not be able to debate anything in a cultural or social context in an intelligent matter.)

Bright white roots reminding me that I am no spring chicken anymore. Combined with a sore stiff shoulder due to a badly executed dive-roll (yes I know, my own fault) and dark heavy bags under my eyes and a lingering migraine … I cannot even blame some mad party from last night.

Alright… que the sad violins…

Lament over.

So now I am sitting here trying to look at this from the other side. Migraine medication kicking in is also helping…

I got my first white hair when I was 20 (damn those genes!). I am however supporting the local economy by spending a substantial amount of money at the hairdresser.

Those same genes have also given me a somewhat “looking a bit younger than I am” ( just not today… though considering the rest of the family I might be somewhat reassured for the future).

The humongous bags under my eyes and headache are more likely from work stress and spending too much time last night playing the Xbox. The work situation is shortly to change for the better and gaming… well it is kinda fun.

My healthier living (… not perfected yet) and work-outs and therefore weight-loss is going OK, albeit very slowly. I do enjoy it and you will find me in the gym first thing tomorrow again. The fact is that I am getting to a point where I am fitter than I have been for many years and I never thought I would say that at 37.

I am also the luckiest person alive because I have some of the most amazing people as friends.

So all in all… life is pretty good.

Now excuse me, I have to book that hairdresser appointment.

 

 

What binds us

The bonds between friends, family and lovers are like intricate threads shifting in the wind. Sparkling with all the colors of the rainbow. Like shimmering gossamer in the sun. If we could but see them.

Across the universe threads drift, connecting every living being together. Some loosing an all too light connection. Some ripping apart. Some holding on forever.

With every being we meet and seek; a new thread is created.

Those illusive threads that stay strong have knots that could tell a tale of rife, of sorrow, of forgiveness, of understanding and an unyielding strength – if only we knew how to read them.

These are the threads we knit together with those we love.

In the fiercest gale the threads are stretched taut but do not break. In the darkest night they glimmer to show us the way. In the farthest distance they reach our hearts.

These are the threads we knit together with those we love.

Pick a’ Mix

Right… time for a bit of a scatty post. Which is a reflection of how scatty brained I feel this evening. Thank God the weekend is nearing, though I was convinced most of the day today that it is Tuesday. Don’t ask, I have no idea why.

Having spend a fabulous weekend away over Easter (see previous post) I prepared myself for another weekend of great fun. In total we were 9 girls (with some who flew in from various destinations to Dublin) that had a blast. We used to all work together when everyone still lived in Dublin and now we try to meet up at least a few times a year.

This was the first time in 3 (!!!) years that we all were in the same pace. I have laughed so much this weekend gone by. Eaten way, way too much food and we also went for a great walk around the Howth cliff walk. It is definitely one of my favorite shorter walks around Dublin. Needless to say that did not make up for the amount of food consumed… I am not sure why our meet-ups always revolve around food but we had quite a few favorite restaurants to sample. Sacrifices have got to be made.

At the top of the walk

and Howth harbour

Oh yeah the cliffs did not attack… but you never know…

I was in addition dying with a cold so I stayed sober throughout the weekend… wow… there are some serious weirdos on the dance floor at 1am – things like that you only really notice when sober. It was concluded that there was maybe one decent looking guy in the ENTIRE place… maybe beer goggles are a good thing after all.

I am always amazed at how great if feels when we are all together. Or as one of the girls put it “… it is like balm for the soul”. Even with a cold those few days energized me and made everything feel just fine. Now to save up for the next meet-up. That is if my car ever stops needing additional repairs…. enough said.

By the way, have you ever seen a bar that you have to peddle to get going? A novel way of seeing Dublin by “bicycle”… and it gets the beer flowing – bonus!

I am also longing for warmer weather now. Today it has been your typical Irish four-seasons weather… lashing rain, hail storm, windy and the odd sunshine. All in all repeated every hour. It makes for good sleeping (I always sleep well when it is raining) but it is the waking up part that troubles me ever so slightly. So come on sunshine.

I did get some sun while I was driving home, even if it just was a glimpse.

This scatty brain will now direct her feet to the nearest duvet. And yes, I am now also talking about me in third person. Definitely ready for Friday to come rollin’ in!

 

Is it January already?

Time seems to have flowed past at speed the last few weeks. All the sudden it is mid-January already and no blog post has been written. Ouch! Not sure how that happened.

I spend Christmas with one of my best friends together with her boyfriend, who also happens to be a good friend of mine, and their two adorable boys. Two boys, who at the tender age of 4 and 7, were extremely excited about Santa coming. Their faces when we called NORAD’s Santa Tracker was priceless.

So Christmas was full of early mornings and lots of toys but it was also relaxing and with more food than it is humanly possible to eat. One thing to keep in mind: when putting a bottle of Bailey’s in the freezer… yes, the cream stays frozen but not the pure alcohol… it does give quite a kick!

Oh and this sweet shop is just fabulous. They have all kinds of chocolates, hard-boiled sweets, fudge, toffee, liquorice and so on. It feels like you are stepping back in time when you enter.

As usual the long weekend ended way too fast and it was time to go home once again. Back to a really busy week in work, which ended with a pretty chilled out New Years Eve. I really enjoyed spending it with a very good friend, just eating cheese and crackers and drinking some wine. I guess in a way I “should” feel a bit freaked out that I rather stayed in (like my parents) than went out into town (getting pissed in a crowded pub) but to be honest it was great just chilling. Hmmmm…. not sure what that says about me.

Well, I made up for it a bit the weekend just gone by. My sister and her partner came over for a weekend visit. It was great!! There was lots of fish & chips, Guinness (OK, not much for me as I still am not too keen on the black stuff), pubs and lots and lots of laughs.

My sister and I, in stitches as always.

Proper fry up’s (sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs and toast) in the mornings kept us going. We ended up in a variety of places. All from the traditional Irish pub with a traditional Irish music session to the heavy metal rock bar in town. It was brilliant fun and over way too fast.

So now I am sitting here, trying to survive the rest of the month. The January blues and all that. As most others I am properly skint and like many I am looking over my budget and mulling over various health ideas. Oh the joy…

But at the same time, it is a new year and new opportunities looming around every corner. I do not really do the whole new years resolution thing but I do try to keep some ideas in mind. I will make this year mine. Not decided how yet but if the world will end in 2012 (like some seem to believe) then I want go out with a bang and a smile on my face.

Or in the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”

Oh 2011, where to start…

When I sat down last year to write the 2010-gone-by post it was about having started to blog, got a tattoo, laser eye surgery, Christmas parties and driving too fast.

This time… where to start. This has been a year of so many changes. Of heart-break. Of self-discovery. Of meeting amazing people who I will forever be grateful for. It has been an emotional roller-coaster.

As most of you know, this was the year that heralded the end of a 11 year-long relationship for me. I will not dwell on it in this post. It has been chewed through enough. I could spend the entire post on just going over how this year has been pretty tough. But you know what… it has been what it has been and I want to remember the things that made me smile, made me laugh and made me feel good.

I have an apartment that I love. A place that always makes me feel at ease (even with window vents from hell…). It is light, airy, has a south-facing balcony that is just fab. It is a place that went from feeling like a temporary hotel room, a refuge to become the place where I can relax and recharge. My home.

I share this apartment with my two furballs. They bring laughter, cuddles and joy together with unconditional love on a daily basis.

There is much more I could list here. However, the best thing this year has been my friends. From the ones that I have known for years, the ones I have met online through blogging and the new great friends that I have met. These are the people who have made me laugh, smile and feel happy throughout everything this year. And that is what I will keep with me from 2011.

So bring on 2012. It will be a great one!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

A weekend gone past fast…

It is Sunday afternoon once again and I sit here nursing my cup of tea. This seems to have turned into a ritual of sorts on Sundays – a cup of tea, music in the background and writing posts surrounded by my two cats.

The weekend has flown past once again. It has been a good weekend. Friday was a roller-coaster. A lot going on in my head and a busy day. I was exhausted on Friday evening.

Saturday was, for lack of a better word, a cathartic day. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Posts of all descriptions spewed out. A few I might publish in days to come. I just needed to write. Yes, talking helps but sometimes I just cannot express myself fully. I do not even know what to say half the time. Writing helps me understand what I am feeling. There are moments when I sit down to write a post and I end up writing something totally different to what I intended to. Those pieces are from the very core of my soul. They come unbidden and honest. I also realized that this emotional roller-coaster is not something that will be OK on commando. I’ve tried to push it away and tell myself that all is good and even though it is OK at times, I am not there yet. I only fool myself. I will have to give it time. So I’m taking one step at a time and it is getting better. I do not expect everyone around me having to deal with my shit all the time. So I write.

Saturday evening was spent in the company of friends. With Caipiroska’s, glasses of wine, lively discussions and laughter – an evening cathartic for the soul in a fabulous way. Maybe not so cleansing for my liver though… but worth it.

So now I am back to Sunday. It will be a relaxing one. Maybe there will be room for some writing or maybe I will just read a book. I’ll find out.

Closing my eyes

Image via Wikipedia

I am having my (very late) breakfast and am trying to plan my day.  If the sun was shining I would be on the balcony… plans or no plans. Instead I have enough little things to keep me busy. My cats are thrilled I am home so that they can show me all the new spots they have found in the apartment. The chasing game has ended and we are now in pro-longed cat nap time.

I have spent 3 days putting together IKEA furniture with a friend. It has been fun but also frustrating, especially when it didn’t want to work out the way we had planned. Lots of coffee, swearing and insane laughter later… it is done. Even managed to get out-of-town for a few hours. Drove to the Wicklow Mountains with no particular destination in mind… probably explains the VERY bumpy roads we ended up on. It was really nice getting out and a good laugh. Next time though… I will bring proper footwear. I love my sandals but they are not great for longer walks.

Right now though, I will close my eyes and listen to one of my absolute favorite songs by Adele.

To my friends near and far

To my friends,

I was sitting 30 000 feet up in the air thinking about the people in my life. I realised that I am not very good at expressing myself when it comes to saying how much you guys rock, so I decided it was well overdue.

So this is to all of you that I count as my friends. Some near and some far away. Some of you I see almost everyday, some often and some hardly ever or I haven’t actually met you face to face.

You have all been there for me in the last whirlwind of my life. You have listened, advised, metaphorically held my hand, let me write, let me vent, let me wallow, told me that things will get better, given me hugs, poured me wine, offered me a bed, made me laugh, shared bad jokes to make me giggle. Taken my mind off things. You guys know who you are.

I cannot guarantee an end of my wallowing quite yet but feel that things would have been much more difficult without you all. I feel blessed to know such a great bunch of people. You are the best and I love you all to bits.

Thank you ❤

Smile … it is Friday after all!

Am in work which normally means that I am (mentally) running from one thing to the next but today… I am not. I am smiling. I am on the edge of a laugh. I enjoy the banter. I bob my head to the music in my headphones. I blog (shhhhh don’t tell).

It is Friday just like it was last week… but for some reason it feels better this Friday. It has been a pretty good week even though it is the month-end. Busy in work but, considering all, it has gone smoother than the last few months. Yes, it has been mad for a few days but you know what… I truly believe I rather laugh than cry and laughed is what I have done no matter what this week. (… slightly hysterical at times but ehhhh who cares!).

A long-awaited book was released which has given me much enjoyment this week. I have managed to combine a work trip to Norway in March with a visit to a friend in Stockholm and her 30th birthday party, a party I thought I couldn’t make it to. This evening I am off to another friends birthday bash and it is the perfect way to end the work week.

The music in my headphones are old songs from the 90’s which remind me of happy summer days and evenings with friends when we were carefree students. That is what I feel like today: carefree.

Happy and carefree on a Friday. Damn it feels good! Happy Friday people!

A pinch of this and that

Image by desmeki via Flickr

It has been a whole week since I posted something on my blog. Can’t believe time has just flown so fast. It has been one of those weeks were much was done in the “real” world with little time to read blogs, check emails or write anything down.

I will not bore anyone with updates about work, part from that it was mad busy and a bit manic. The rest of the working week (or the few hours left over) … I can’t actually remember much of what I did…how bad is that…! Collapsed in bed is likely. However on Friday the fun started. A few friends (who flew in from different locations) and the rest of us still in Dublin all met up and had a girls only dinner with lots of wine, laughter, great food and a volume level enough to break the sound barrier. It was fab! Next day it continued with late brunch (Herbstreet restaurant; highly recommended) then dinner together with more friends and significant others (Pacinos restaurant; avoid!!) and a must visit to Cafe en Seine…it was packed, it was boiling hot, the dancing was entertaining and the drinks kept coming. Sunday arrived, it was time for breakfast/brunch/late lunch with the same gang…  at Koh restaurant (oh sooo good!). So many laughs and so much good food (and lots of water… oh and some irish coffee to balance things). Then all the sudden the weekend was over and all had to go back home where-ever that might be. Miss you all already!!

Now I just have to catch up with everything else. My mail, my blog, other blogs… my laundry! I will also try to get some cooking done this week as this is part of my new plan. Cook loads and put into containers so that I can just defrost in the evenings when I am too knackered to cook after work.

It was great eating out all weekend. Wish I could do it (and afford it) more often. Time to put something together in the kitchen I think… a pinch of this and a pinch of that will do just fine.